Sod, Armadillos, Castor Oil & Earth Worms

      I'm a lover not a fighter, but a pesky armadillo is getting on my last nerve. This story began a few weeks ago when we laid a whole bunch of new sod at the ranch, in what we call Uncle Jimmie's Area. The area's called that because many years ago, while visiting us from New Mexico, my Uncle Jimmie, my cousin Jina and my mother sat in the shade in this lush, green patch of grass near our Big House.

Uncle Jimmie's Area

     Unfortunately, time took it's toll on Uncle Jimmie's area. Once lush and cool, the area became dry, dusty, dirty and disappointing. So, I had the bright idea to put down sod. How hard can it be? Well, I'm a moron.

Putting Down Sod/Windmill Ranch

     Have you ever put down sod? Imagine picking up 10-15 pounds of dead weight, walking with it for 10-50 feet, putting it down, pressing it in and repeating that process for approximately 325 times.😡😡 If you're knocking on 60-years old, it's borderline terrible!

     But perseverance prevailed! We got the sod down and watered in. It looked pretty good for an amateur job. Then, it happened. The worst possible thing. The one thing we dreaded. T & I pulled up yesterday and....

     Teresa: "Oh no!"

     Me: "What?"

     Teresa: "Look!!"

     Sure enough, the one thing we didn't want to happen.. happened. The one thing that equaled spending money for nothing happened. The one thing that made 325 times of picking up and putting down 10-15 pounds of dead weight seem pointless happened. 

     A grass destroying, bug diggin', sod bustin' armadillo found our newly planted Bermuda sod and made a mess of it. I'm trying to work on my language, but this moment was not my finest. In fact, I had no idea that I could use so many expletives in so many different ways. I used 'em as a noun, a verb, an adverb, a adjective and I think even as a preposition. Great stuff!

Armadillos Hate Castor Oil

     I'm not going to lie to you. I'll shoot the hole diggin', grass destroyin', armor clad mess maker if I see him, but remember my lead sentence; I'm a lover not a fighter. So, we Googled "How to Get Rid of Armadillos." It seems Dillos have a strong sense of smell and don't like Castor Oil or Cayenne Pepper.

     So you guessed it. I spent time today spraying 16 ounces of Castor Oil with four ounces of dish liquid and water on Uncle Jimmie's area. By the end of it, I was covered in nasty smelling oil and sticky Dawn. 

     But, I'm not leaving our Dillo dilemma to chance. We got a trap too. Google says, "Use a trap baited with meal worms, earth worms, cat food or sardines." We doubled up. We used worms and cat food. The trap is positioned near the suspected burrow (underneath the Big House stairs.) Here Dilly, Dilly. Come out and play!! I'll keep you posted.

Bill Robertson (5/12/21,) In the southern United States, some armadillos are naturally infected with the bacteria that causes Hansen's disease (Leprosy) in people and it may be possible that they can spread to people. But, it's VERY RARE.

     

     

     

Mystery at the Windmill Ranch near Snyder Texas

      If hell hath no fury like a woman scorned then whatever you do, do NOT no matter what, never-ever scorn mother nature... NEVER-EVER!

    A couple sentences from now, I'm going to show you a picture that as far as I'm concerned is cold blooded murder committed by none other Mother Nature. Long ago, Anita Bryant warned us all; "Don't Fool with Mother Nature." Now, I'm convinced she was right. Teresa, on the other hand, disagrees with me but she doesn't have any conclusive evidence to support her theory. I don't either. So, we're asking for your help to solve this Windmill Ranch Mystery.

     The story begins on a blustery, spring morning as we were entering the ranch for daily duties. I'm watching the road in front of me for deer, but mostly new calves that have learned to get off the road. Teresa's watching out her window too for calves, but mostly for deer and other wildlife.

     Teresa: "Did you see that!? Something's in that tree!"

     Me: "What? I didn't see anything. Where?"

     Teresa: "Back there.. in the trees. It looked like a deer or something hanging in the trees."

     Me: "Didn't see it."

     Teresa: "It's probably just a shadow."

     If you now nothing else about T, know this... Once she gets curious about something she's going to get an answer whether it takes a few minutes or a few hours. That quality proved true almost immediately after we parked at the ranch pavilion.

     Teresa: "I'm going back to see what's in that tree. Gracie, stay!"

     So, she fired up Big Red, our old red pickup, and zoomed off to investigate. Meantime, I stayed put. It wasn't 10-minutes later that she came back with a couple fuzzy photos.

Windmill Ranch

     Teresa: "I took this from the truck. I was wearing my flip flops and didn't want to                     get out. It's not a  deer. What is it?"

     Me: "I dunno. We'll take a closer look on the way out."

     

    

Windmill Ranch

So going on this pictur,e what do you think it is and how do you think it got there? It could be a deer, maybe a shadow or maybe something else. We wouldn't know until a few more hours later when we were leaving the property.

     We drove out like we always do. We can't go too fast because either the road is too bumpy or the calves won't get out of the way, or sometimes, like this day, we have our heads on a swivel looking for a mystery hanging in the trees. By trees, I'm mean the ubiquitous, west Texas mesquites. This time of year, some are still brown and gray but others are beginning to sprout their green buds. The wet trunks on this day made the whole grove look like shadows rising from the ground up.

     Then! There it was. Something was definitely hanging in the trees. We walked to it, about 100-yards off the road. Sure enough, it was a coyote wedged between a 'V' shaped mesquite tree. It's back legs dangling too far away from any lumber to gain traction. It was dead. But, how?

Windmill Ranch/Snyder, Texas

     This is where T & I have differing conclusions. T's certain my theory doesn't hold water so she believes the animal was shot and purposefully hung in the tree to ward off other coyotes as per Ranch Lore. I disagree.

     I believe the coyote was chasing prey, jumped up into the tree, slipped, fell into the 'V', snapped its back and died in the wedge. I base my conclusion on the circumstantial evidence that there was no blood and no obvious bullet hole

    We, The Festus & Fife Detective Agency, are stumped on this murder in Mother Nature. Any and all thoughts are welcome. For now, we'll put this in our Cold Case file.

Bill Robertson, (4/13/21)

     

     

Teresa Got Into A Knife Fight

      Did the blog title get your attention? I can't take credit for it. My dear, sweet and super fun sister-in-law, Vena Beth Alesio, phoned it from her home in Lincoln, NE.

Post Surgery/Day 1

     Of course, Teresa did NOT get into a knife fight but that sounds a lot more exciting than what really caused this nasty incision on her left forearm. Plain & simple, it's the result of removing a Basal Cell Carcinoma, aka Skin Cancer.

     The good news is; If you get skin cancer, the skin cancer you want is Basal Cell Carcinoma. The bad news is, the pain is exactly what you'd expect from this kind of surgery. 

Cogdell Memorial Hospital/Snyder, TX

     If T were writing this blog, she'd tell you her day in the hospital began about 40-years ago. That's when she, like so many of us in our 50s and 60s, would lay out in the sun. We weren't wearing sunscreen. In fact, we were more than likely lacquered up in baby oil thinking that concoction added to Hawaiian Tropic would give us some type of sun-kissed glow.  I guess it did and that was great for our 20s, 30s and 40s. But now, the conversation at the doc's office goes more like this...

Takin A Closer Look

            Doctor: "While you're here, let me take a look at some of these spots on your skin."

            Patient: "Uh, okay. I feel fine. What are you looking for?"

            Doctor: "Skin cancer."

            Patient: "Oh."

     T's got two more weeks of the stitches. We're watching her arm... even with a magnifying glass. The good news is the pain is getting less and less each day.

Picture Pickin' Time

     In much lighter news, our new-old house project is taking on more of our personality. We're on the verge of hanging our pictures and photos. The 64-thousand dollar question is, where to hang what.

Ross Hataway Original

     We have quite a few originals. Some are one of a kind pieces by local artists like Brian Asher, Jess Everett, Tom Roberts & Ross Hataway, Ross painted this picture of my boots. T gave it to me for my birthday. There's a great story behind the boots and the painting, but that's for the two of us. 

Sedona, AZ

      We also have photos of many years gone by that bring back some terrific memories. This one is from a cold and snowy April day in Sedona. By the next day, we were back in shorts

Go Saints!

     About the only colorful wall hanging that has its confirmed place is this New Orleans Saints print that Jack and Allison gave us for Christmas. It will hang in our front room/make shift office. The print is from when Nashville hosted the 2019 NFL draft. It's not a one of a kind, but it is unique and special to us, at least.

Leftovers for Lunch

     And what's a Bill Blog without a foodie element? We made leftover meatloaf quesadillas with  black beans and pimento cheese on the griddle for lunch today. It sounds over the top, but it adds up to less than 500-calories.

     It's fun to get back into the blog writing saddle again. I hope y'all will continue reading and share with all your friends. I started writing blogs in January of 2018. You can check out my full blog collection at https://billrobertsonsblog.blogspot.com/

     And for more on some of these west Texas artists check out...

https://brianashercowboyartist.com/

https://www.facebook.com/search/top?q=ross%20hataway%20art

Bill Robertson (3/4/21,) SUNSCREEN! The worst sunburn I ever had was on a cloudy day at the beach (Thanksgiving, 1976ish)

Toilet Paper Holders, Broken Water Wells & A Big Leaky Pool

      If I ever meet the inventor of the toilet paper holder, I'm gonna punch him or her right in the nose. I can't carry tune, I can't whistle with my fingers, and, I can't drive a nail. All three of those are genuine and absolute talents and the tricky toilet paper holder today proved the icing on the cake.

Mr. Fixit @ Work

     The trouble, or the blessings depending how you look at it, began when we moved into a new, old house (1975.) We got it for a pretty sweet song so we put our efforts into updates. It's funny how a 'mid-century' house, as it's called, can be outdated down to the little things,,, like toilet paper holders.

     Experts handled the important stuff for us, but I figured that surely I could handle a few little chores, like the toilet paper holder.😞😞

The Finished Product

Well first, I couldn't. Then, I could. And then, I did. I installed a toilet paper holder. I gathered a big assortment of tools but as it turned out, all I needed was a level and a screwdriver. I installed a toilet paper holder!! 

The Ranch Water Well

     The BIG FREEZE did affect our ranch well house. The good news is, it's not used for anything important. The bad news is, I still gotta cobble something together to get water to the flora and fauna in the area that we call The People's Place. The really bad news is, the flora and fauna may die.

Baking Experiment

     I've written many times about how much I like to eat. I've included many stories about how much I like to cook. As part of our renovations at our new, but old home, we updated our kitchen. So, I thought I'd tackle baking. How hard can it be? Take my word for it, it's not only hard, it's also super time consuming. 

     One Sunday afternoon, Teresa and I got some yeast, a lot of bread flour and other stuff. We set out at noon to make 'Old Fashioned Yeast Cafeteria Rolls.".  By 5:00, we had overcooked 'Old Fashioned Yeast Cafeteria Rolls.' My new note to self is; Store bought baked goods are worth every penny.

The Gaming Tables Are Open in the Casino

     Our new, old house is a big change from 10-years of living in the country. We definitely went bigger because we hope little grand children will visit. We also went  back in time by about 40-years. The included photo is our master bathroom area. The painter even said, "Oh my."

Bill Robertson (3/3/21,) The toilet paper holder works great, the water well's not worth losing sleep over and we like 1975ish. I still can't whistle. If you'd like to read about 150 of my other blogs check out; https://billrobertsonsblog.blogspot.com/ 

     

     

     

     

     

     

      

Who Pooped in the Pavilion Potty (when the water was off)

      Gotcha! I'm guessing you clicked on this blog because of my well thought out title. The bad news is; Someone did poop in the pavilion when the water was off and we're on the case. I'll get to that in a few paragraphs.😏😏

     But before I get to the #2 of the story, I'm going to start with the #1 of the story and that is living in small town America is both a blessing and a curse.

Covid Vaccine Day/Cogdell Memorial Hospital

     One of the best blessings about life in Snyder, America is our local hospital, Cogdell Memorial Hospital. No time was this more evident than this past Saturday for at least the second of our hospitals Covid Vaccine Days.

     Teresa and I took mom to get her second dose. It took more time for us to walk from our car to the door of the hospital and back to our car than it took for Marianne to get her second shot. This is not only a big deal thanks to the staff's efficiency, but also factor in that Marianne's a professional visitor. 😆😆Cudo's to CMH staff and friends. Y'all did great... better than great. Thank you. 

The Sushi House/Snyder, TX

     You know what is a curse in a small town is the variety of good places to eat. Don't misunderstand me. Snyder, America does have some really good places to eat, but we like variety like I suppose most of small town America.

     But, we do have sushi and it's really, really good. Who'd think Snyder would have a Shushi House? I'm not sure if I like the sushi as much as I like the soy sauce, but whichever it is it's still pretty good. So, I guess a curse is now a blessing.

The Gentle-ist Termite

     Did anyone know Teresa's solitaire nickname was the Gentleist Termite? I write that 'it was' her nickname because she's since graduated to Ace Astronaut. I watched her play Solitaire for 10-plus years during our travels and quiet times and had no idea she had such a funny alias. So, imagine my surprise just the other day when T announced the 'game' changed her name to Ace Astronaut. I think she was very proud of the apparent upgrade.

     Now to the mystery pooper... This part of the story is messy on a few different levels. First of all, Eww. Second, it's creepy. Third, and I think we've all been there when, we flush a toilet somewhere other than our home and the flush is inadequate. Well, that's what happened in this case.

The Mystery Pooper Place/Windmill Ranch Preserve

    The problem began when we had to turn off ranch water due to a busted valve. That meant, no water to sinks, toilets, nothing. That was on a Friday. We went back Saturday. There were remnants in the pavilion toilet, if you get my meaning, and the toilet tank was empty.

     Somebody pooped, flushed and then about 10-seconds later said to themselves: "Oh crap." And then when they tried to flush again, they said "OH CRAP!" Pardon the pun(s). Anyway, no harm/no foul. 

Bill Robertson (2/21/21,) Again, a VERY BIG thank you to the team at Snyder's Cogdell Memorial Hospital.

     

     

A Wedding, A Camaro and A BMW

      Most recently, I wrote a blog that included news about my youngest son, Joe, getting married to his

   college sweetheart Sharon. 

Joe & Sharon/November 2020

       Like so many other couples in 2020, they had to push their wedding back from the original date in April to the new date in November. It didn't matter because everything worked out great and the whole event ran like clock work. 

McCarron Airport/Las Vegas

     This story begins after a long day of traveling from Lubbock to Nashville via McCarron airport in Las Vegas. By the time we got to Nashville, the place was deserted and our standard-run of the mill rental car had been taken by more timely customers. So, we got our first of two upgrades.

The Camaro/Nashville

     We wanted something like a standard Chevy, but we got this souped up Camaro. It had the roar, the speed, a bunch of fancy buttons, but  all our luggage wouldn't fit in the trunk and it was so low to the ground I think I scrapped my tush on the pavement. The night only got more funky, but that's another story.

The BMW

    We returned the camaro the next morning and that's when we got seriously upgraded to this fine, black BMW sedan. It's also when you could've stamped "Country Bumpkin" on our foreheads.

     This fine piece of German engineering was so complicated that we literally pulled over in the airport parking garage to call a friend with a similar car. Teresa and I couldn't even figure out how to get the side mirrors to go from 'retract' to 'operational.' I promise, this is absolutely true. Thanks to our friend, we stayed with the Beamer but it really tested our intellect.😂😂

     
         November was at the peak or near the peak of  Covid. Few people were taking chances being around people they didn't know. Teresa and I realized that very quickly but were still able to enjoy much of what Music City has the offer.

Nashville Greenways

     Nashville has many great "Green-Ways" around the city. We found one near our place and walked and walked without seeing hardly anyone. The peace and quiet was fantastic, but also very spooky. This place would normally be full of people, but we saw hardly any on our visit.

North Italia/Nashville

     Nashville's known for its music but the food's pretty good too. This is what the most popular, Italian restaurant in town looked like at 12:00pm on a weekday.  We shared Squash soup, grilled bread with olive oil and Spaghetti & Meatballs and it was WOW!

Grilled Bread with Olive Oil/North Italia

     The Main Event of course was Joe and Sharon's wedding. It really was great. They picked a place called Battle Mountain Farm near Franklin, Tennessee. Although they'd originally scheduled their wedding for April, I'd bet the setting was even more scenic in the fall versus the spring.(pic-bmf)

     Everything went off without a hitch. The new couple said their vows. The party continued well into the night. 

I think I'm most impressed that neither Joe nor Sharon let all the Covid crises, tension and turmoil rattle them. They're smiles and their gratefulness put us all in a different time... at least for a weekend.

Bill & Teresa/Williamson Co., TN 11/2020

     Teresa and I enjoyed another of our many visits to middle Tennessee. This time, it was most likely our first time to came across so few people. I think we'd both agree that our time together anywhere is better than any time alone everywhere.

Bill Robertson (2/19/21,) Joe and Sharon got a dog... Boone.

     

Technology is Great When it Works

    Hello  friends. I don't know about any of all, but I love technology. The rub is, technology hates me. I mean technology hates me like I hate liver and martinis. It hates me like some republicans hate democrats and visa versa. But now is the time when I'm very disappointed in technology.

     I inserted a picture of my new fav, White Cheddar Crunchy Cheetos, to illustrate my frustration. Not only have I not been able to write a blog in several months, but I also haven't been able to share what I consider fun, story telling pictures from my exceptionally normal but pretty great life in Snyder, America.

     So, I'm stuck writing this "Test Blog" and inserting a picture of possibly the best snack food ever chemically generated just because I need to conduct a test.

     If you received this blog via being tagged in Facebook, it's because I would really like your reply to a very simple question. And that question is.... Did you receive this email in the very much readable mode called "compose" or did you receive it the very much unreadable mode called HTML?

     I"m gonna insert another picture just to see if I can and if I can move it from right to left or center to left. Stand-by...

     SUCCESS!!!!

Please tell me if you receive this completely "test" blog.

Thank you,

B