The Snake Whisperers

     As I suspected, it didn't take long for something good enough, bad enough or weird enough to cross my bow and spark inspiration for another blog post.

     In this case, I'm going with weird enough. But the word weird is probably too strong. This is a case of something I'd never consider as a business, a hobby or even an interest. So for those who do, it's not weird at all, but business as usual.

Max & Josh with Big Country Snake Removal

     To bring you up to speed, we had a snake in our house the night before we left on our 2018 Wedding(s) Road trip. It was definitely bad luck and even worse timing. So, we made arrangements with Big Country Snake Removal to help us when we returned 18-days later. It's safe to say that neither T nor myself ever forgot about that snake in our house the entire time we were with family and friends.

     Our situation turned out to be pretty benign, but make no mistakes about it... these young men and Big Country Snake Removal take care, and that's the key phrase here.. take care, of some pretty angry and dangerous reptiles. Take a look.

     To make it clear.... This is NOT the snake Max and Josh found in our house. In fact, they didn't find any snakes in our house. The snake in the video is one they captured on a previous service call with the intention of relocating in a place devoid of people or livestock.

     Remember I wrote that Big Country Snake Removal cares for snakes? Their goal is like fishing... Catch and Release to protect both people and snakes.

     These guys spent about two hours at our house checking inside and outside. They went under the house, through the house, around the house and more. In that two hours, I learned more about snakes than I ever imagined, dreamed, hoped for or dreaded to know.

     For example, the snake in our house was likely a Colubrid. So, here's a conversation I never expected.
     "My wife saw the snake here. It went under the refrigerator," I told Max and Josh.
     "It was likely a colubrid."
     "A what?"
     "A colubrid... non-venomous."
     "That's good. My wife said it was the diameter of her index finger and as long as her forearm."
     "Yep. A colubrid. Probably a rat snake."
     "Not venomous?"
     "No sir. How'd it get in the house?"
     "They can climb. Rattlers don't climb. We'll check everything and let you know."

     They did indeed check absolutely everything! Later, I had another conversation I never expected. Here's how it went.

     "Right now, snakes are in estivation," Max & Josh told me. "Hibernation for cold blooded animals is actually called brumation, but it's essentially the same thing," they explained.
      "Okay, I think," I said all the while thinking this is going to be a cool blog if I can figure out how to spell estivation.
      "So right now, they're looking to stay cool." The guys told me. "All snakes are looking to stay cool and female rattlers are looking for a cool, safe place to drop their babies. The chore is, don't give them a reason to stay cool at your house."
      "And how do I do that?"
      "Eliminate their food and water sources," they explained.

     When the fellas talked about eliminating food, I knew exactly what they meant...Get rid of the rats and mice. Any city folks reading this might be cringing at the possibility of rats and mice around a home, but here in west Texas they're as regular as the sunrise and sunset.

      We even had a summer a few years ago that we refer to as the "summer of the rats." We had so many that we could name them Larry, Curly & Moe. I named them "Dead," "Deader" and "Deadest." It was a regular evening to stand on my porch with  about 30-minutes to spare before sunset and get off 10 to 15 shots with my dearly departed father-in-law's 410 at big Norway rats around our house.

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         So here's what Max and Josh recommend.

         To eliminate the food source (rats & mice)
           -Kill 'em! Lots and lots of poison
           -If you have pets, keep them away from poison
           -Eliminate dripping water sites like condensation lines, pet water               bowels, etc.

          To eliminate snakes in your house
            -Seal all holes into your home with foam spray
            -A hole bigger than a pencil is too big
            -Kill the rats and mice!
                                                        -Eliminate easy water access

                                                        To know
                                                         -Most snakes are colubrids. Not harmful.
                                                         -Rattlers do NOT climb/colubrids can climb
                                                         -Snake Away & Mothballs don't work
                                                         -Snake activity in cooler months = Den possibilities
                                                         -Rattlers are sneaky/Never take a corner for granted
                                                         -Don't fear colubrids/They kill mice/rats = Less food for rattlers

     I can't say enough about Max and Josh's thoroughness. They checked everything and ventured way beyond the perimeter of our home. Without hesitation, call Big Country Snake Removal when in need.

Bill Robertson

Wedding(s) Blog #12 (The Wrap-up)

     Well, we're done with our 2018 Wedding(s) Road Trip. Besides Allison and Jack still on their honeymoon, I think just about everyone involved in both weddings is back where they belong.

     So if a picture is worth a thousand words, here are thousands of  words put to video to wrap-up our 2018 Wedding(s) Road Trip.

     Well in a phrase, that's all she wrote. Now what? I don't know. But, I'm guessing other good things and probably a few weird things and hopefully not many bad things will get my attention and merit future blogs. We'll see. I still can't see the future.

Bill Robertson

Wedding(s) Blog #11 (The second & Last Wedding)

     There's no point burying the lead. The second and final wedding in our 2018 Wedding(s) Road Trip is in the books. Jack Dennison Robertson married Allison MacLean Grant at 6:00pm, June 23, 2018 at St. George's Episcopal Church in Nashville, Tennessee.

Grant-Robertson Wedding

       Thanks to the bride's mom, Mary Howell Grant, I can give you my society page impersonation, the bride wore a pearl, sweetheart neck-spaghetti strap gown, a beaded bodice with a ball gown skirt of layered silk tulle and a simple-fingertip veil. Not a bad description, if I say so myself.

Allison & Jack Robertson

       

      The groom wore a navy blue tuxedo with a white shirt, gray bow time and gray suspenders with brown shoes. 

     By the way, I still don't get the brown shoes with everything look. I like it, but back in my day we wore black or cordovan shoes with matching belts. Apparently back in my day was so long ago that I actually had to explain what cordovan is/was. By the way, it's the color of a liver chestnut horse... that probably doesn't help.

     There are many, many highlights to share about Allison and Jack's great evening. But first, here's how they got to the "I Do's" and how we arrived at the reception.

Bridal Luncheon

     While Jack and his groomsmen were off doing their thing, Allison's three aunts, on her dad's side, hosted a bridal luncheon.

     The ladies all met at The Harding House restaurant. Mom is definitely height challenged by the looks of the photo at left but, she and Teresa returned to their drivers, that is my sister Julia and I, all smiles and excited about meeting so many of Allison's family.

     Funny thing about a wedding weekend when you're part of the bridal group.... time absolutely disappears. It's uncanny. You wake up. You set a schedule. At first blush, it sure looks like there's time. But, poof! It's like the clock is over-caffeinated. All the time you thought you would have between events absolutely vanishes.

     

Allison & Jack's Rehearsal Dinner/Maffioza's

     A few hours later that seemed like mere minutes, we were all gathered at Mafiaoza's, a fun Italian place in Nashville's aggressively gentrified east side.

      I think a pretty good time was had by all. It's funny when you get so many family members and friends together in one place for a special reason.

      I met more aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents than I have in a long time. Thank goodness Teresa was at my side or at least within eye contact. 

      "Okay, who's the woman in the blue dress," I'd ask.

      "The short blue dress or the tea length blue dress?"

      "What's tea length?"

      "It's longer but not to the floor."

      "I dunno…. that lady." Then, I'd point.

      "Don't point!!!"

      "Okay, the lady at 12 o'clock. Is that Mary's mom (mother of the bride) or John's mom (mother of the groom)?"

       "You're 12 o'clock or my 12 o'clock?"

       "Her." And, I'd point again.

      Anyway, it was kind of like that most of the night. By closing time, I think I knew who belonged to whom, but name tags and a brief description in parentheses would've been a huge help. Something like: Name: Jane Doe (John's younger sister, third child to Mr. & Mrs. Grant from Atlanta). Just saying. 

Groom's Breakfast

        Wedding day began with a groom's breakfast at our place while Allison and her attendants did their thing.

           We cooked the green chile & cheddar eggs while Mr. Cracker, Mrs. Barrel and little place called Publix provided the lion's share of the feast.

         It turns out, ice-cold bottled water was the big attraction at breakfast. Apparently, it was a dehydrating type of night after the rehearsal dinner.

         Thank goodness my step-son Cody convinced their apparent mary-jane smoking contract driver to stop for snuff and water on their way from the big fun at Mafiaoza's.

     

Jack & Bill Robertson

          Again as it's apt to do, time flew by. Before I knew it, we were at this fantastic church taking pre-ceremony family pictures. I've thought about changing the picture to the right because it looks like I'm a little worse for wear. The truth is, I'm whispering something to Jack.

    

         I'm not sure who Allison's family hired as their photographer, but her middle name should be 'efficient.' Wow. 

      The ceremony began promptly at 6:00. Sorry, no inside pictures. We were kindly encouraged to refrain and I know we did because we were sitting on the first row.

     By 6:30 on the dot, we were done and gathering for the drive to the reception at Nashville's Bell Tower.

     Allison & Jack entered the reception and the joyful applause set the tone for the night and fun ahead.

     Beginning with the couples' first dance to Allison's dance with her father, family and guests couldn't have asked for more.

Father-Daughter Dance

     He's hard to see but the young man singing, on the left side of this photo is Allison's younger brother, Jack. He's a recent Tulane graduate who's bound for law school at Belmont University in Nashville. I didn't know the song, but he's a Tulane grad going on to law school and he sings.. really sings.  I'm pretty sure he's the right stuff.

     After the dances, a short welcome from Mr. Grant and a feast of food- stations ranging from Asian fare to good old fashioned southern favorites to mashed potatoes, the party jumped from holy cow to hold onto your hat.

     Just when I thought I had enough gumption to get on the dance floor and shake, rattle and roll, Teresa turned to me and said... "You knew it when you married me. I'm not a dancing girl." I felt like I dodged a bullet, but take a look.

     So, that's a wrap on our wedding(s) road trip... at least the wedding(s) part. Just like about everyone else involved, we too gotta get back to the real world. I hope to put a 'firm' wrap on the whole adventure when we're back in Snyder, America.

  

     But I couldn't sign off without extending my thanks to the many, many old and new friends and family who really did the leg work for Zachary, Nadia, Jack and Allison. So to all of you, please accept our heartfelt thanks.

     But I must give proper thanks to our Lord who provides all blessings. Also, I offer a huge thanks to my lovely bride, Teresa, who's talked me off of every ledge imaginable, to my mother (Marianne) who at 86 doesn't have a worrisome bone in her body, to my amazingly patient and helpful little sister Julia and to my older sister, Laura, and her family who are Webster's dictionary of all things that should be right in the world.

Bill Robertson

      

     

     

Wedding(s) Blog #10 (Budgets, Biscuits, Bass Pro & Grocery Store Radio)

     We're just days from our second and last wedding on our great 2018 Wedding(s) Road Trip. So without a doubt we're trying to fit in as many visits, moments and out of town experiences as possible. We covered a lot of territory in the last 24-hours.

Jack & Allison/Loveless Café

     In no particular order, here are some of the things we've done, said or discovered.

     Today started with an early morning breakfast with Jack and Allison at Nashville's iconic eatery, The Loveless Café. The last time I was here was about 15 years ago for Jack's birthday.
      Back then he was a Corvette nut. So, I'd arranged for a co-worker, who owned a Corvette, to surprise us at Loveless with his convertible car. The bottom line is, Jack and I took a mildy, high speed drive up and down the historic Natchez Trace in Tommy Terry's Corvette.
     This time, Allison, Jack, Teresa and I had a great visit and a hearty southern breakfast before they had to scatter for their own chores and work.

     Teresa and I realize how blessed we are to have the means to take this road trip and our other adventures. We each have our unofficial duties on the road. T's like "Julie" from "The Love Boat." She's our road trip director. Me, I'm the wallet guy. My role is for us to enjoy our visits but always be mindful of the expenses. Sometimes, we have to have a meeting of the minds.

     We had some unexpected expenses yesterday. So when Teresa began talking about shopping, I said, "I'm going to give you a word. It's six letters, begins with a 'B' and ends with a 'T. Fill in the blanks."
     "Is there a 'W'?" She asked.
     "No."
     "Is there an 'A'"?
     "No. It's six letters, begins with a 'B' and ends with a 'T'".
     "What? What's it about?"
     "About all we're spending."
     "Oh! Budget!"
     "Yes. Budget."
     "Oh Bill."

Bass Pro/Nashville

     Within 24 hours, we were at the mall getting T some sandals. After that, we had time to spare so I said, "I want to go to Bass Pro."
I think T's exact words were, "Can we buy something?"
"No," I said.

     Turns out, I got some shorts and got Joe (my youngest) a hat. Cruise director Julie trumped Wallet William.



     Now to a weird something that I always expected but wondered about. Have you ever noticed that grocery stores play really good music? It's really not uncommon for me to walk the aisles of our local grocer singing along with the tunes piped into the store from the veggies to the frozen food section.
      The audio's probably very hard to hear in this video, but I remember a really good song wafting down from the ceiling tiles.

          Today, we confirmed it. There are really grocery store radio stations. A customer service clerk, who we spotted dancing in place at her register today, confirmed it. Just because I'll talk to anyone I asked about the music and if there were specific grocery store music stations. I couldn't believe it when she said that there are at least three music stations that supply grocery store music.

     We have a lot going on in the next couple days... family coming to town, rehearsals, rehearsal dinners, showers and sooner or later the second and final wedding of our 2018 Wedding(s) Road Trip.

Bill Robertson

The Wedding(s) Blog #9 (Hot Chicken, Anniversary, Crazy Rain & Downtown Franklin)

     We're one wedding down with one more to go on our Great Wedding(s) Road Trip of 2018.To review, my nephew Zach married his bride Nadia Kelly Sunday June 10th at John Folse's White Oak Plantation in Baton Rouge. It really was practically perfect in every way.      

Mr. & Mrs. Zachary Richmond

     Now, our caravan of Texans that includes mom, Julia (my lil' sister), Teresa and me is in a holding pattern until the next BIG day... My son Jack's wedding to his fiancé Allison Grant in Nashville. T & I are holed up in Music City. Mom and Julia are bunking near Crossville at some lake with a beach or two.

      I'm guessing mom and Julia are doing their thing. I know we are, as we're definitely "when in Rome' kind of folks. Here's the latest in the Readers Digest version.

Franklin, TN.

     First outing, Franklin Tennessee. I lived in Franklin back in my Tennessee days. The downtown area was always fun with lots of shops, restaurants and more.
      This is the heart of Williamson County known for its country music stars and boutique stores.
      We visited early before the crowds began. Our goal was park, eat, walk, get car & get out before the humidity  didn't match the 90-degree temperature. We got close but by the time we'd finished lunch at Meridees, which back in my day was just a fun bakery but now's an open all day eatery with crazy pastries, pies, breads and sandwiches, I'd taken showers less wet than the absolutely soaking outside weather.

Meridee's/Franklin, TN

     Meridee's was well known back in the early 1990s for amazing pastries. Back then, it closed at 11am. Now, it's open til almost 11pm. 

      I had the Ultimate Club. If you need to know anything about me, I am a CLUB SANDWICH OFFICIONADO. I can't resist them. I'll tell you a secret too. That is, always add mustard to a club if you want the ULTIMATE gastro-experience.

      T had an incredible French Dip. The bread was soft, but crunchy. The meat was sliced the thinness of card stock. The au jus was drinkable.  

       We took home some of their chicken salad, parmesan/sundried tomato bread and pecan pie. The chicken salad.. I've had better. The bread... pretty dern good. The pecan pie... we should've gotten a second slice.

     You know you're from west Texas when, you stop you're indoor fun to go outside to capture the rain on video.

      Next day.... Father's Day! Oh, we had a great full day that included time with Jack and Joe on the course and at the local eateries and the big rain. It was indeed a really great day.

Lower Broadway/Nashville

      Next for us... Anniversary day! We had a plan. We kind of kept to it. Our first goal was to go to downtown Nashville. 

      You gotta know that getting to downtown Nashville is akin to standing in line at the dentist's office for a root canal. As Teresa likes to say, 'gear down.'

       Then when you get down there, good luck finding a parking place. On street parking is apparently available IF you get their before sunrise. Otherwise, get ready for waiting at a garage and be prepared to go undergound for a slot that's barely wide enough for  two bicycles parked pedal to pedal.

      Still, it was our anniversary and we were bound to get downtown. We had a plan.

Jack's Bbq/Nashville

     First stop, Jack's Bbq on Broadway. We found this hole in the wall, on arguably Nashville's most frequented street, a few years ago. We went because the name is "Jack's." That's my son's name. So we figured, good or bad... we'll eat, take a picture and call it good.

     Turns out... It's GREAT!. So for anniversary day we decided to return and it definitely did NOT disappoint. We parked three floors underground, walked a few blocks, had a great lunch, walked around a bit and got the heck out of the cluster of tourists.

     The funny thing though about walking around a city like Nashville is, you never know what you're going to see. All we did was take a right out the front door and it was photo op after photo op OR weird conversation after unexpected conversation.

Tootsie's Alley/Nashville

     First, we stumbled across Tootsie's Alley. As the story goes, this is the alley Grand Ole Opry performers and/or their bands/mates/etc  would cross to drink while the performers performed.

     It just so happens that up that alley, on the left and behind the second door we met the tour manager for "Third Day." I don't know who they are, but we met 'em.'

     After the alley, it was all a 'small town guy in a big city' experience. As T said, "Take a picture of that. You don't see that every day in Snyder, America."

Nashville TN

           

Elvis on Broadway/Nashville

Home of the Preds/Nashville

     So as you can see, T pointed out a lot of stuff. It's not everyday Elvis sings to you on the street. It's not everyday a massive crane casts a shadow over your sidewalk and it's not every day the Bridgestone Arena/Home of the Nashville Predators is across the street.

      The city's changed a lot, a whole lot since my days as a morning co-anchor on WSMV, by the way the oldest TV station in Nashville. WSM actually means "We Serve Millions" because the station was started by an insurance company. But by the time I worked there, I'd tell people: "This is Bill Robertson from WSMV.... William, Sex, Murder, Violence." They'd say... "Oh yeah."

        We wrapped up our day the way we began with the local food. Although we've never had it, we've always heard …. "Don't miss the Nashville HOT chicken."

Hattie B's Hot Chicken/Nashville

      Our last anniversary agreement was, get Hattie B's HOT Chicken. It's a Nashville hotspot. So we said... bring it.

      We told Jack and Joe our plans. They said, "Call ahead, get it to go. Don't wait in line." We followed their advice.

 

      By the time we arrived the line was around the block. Our phone-in paid off. I walked right in. But while there, I watched this incredible person at the register.

       All the while I was waiting, she was dealing with folks who'd been waiting in 95 degree heat for HOT chicken. They weren't happy.

 

       Whoever this young person is, she was warm and cool at the same time. She was warm in that she broke the angry ice with every customer. I watched and listened to her ask about hometowns, states, teams... everything. But she did it in a way that didn't slow down the line. She talked to the people from Austin while running their credit card. She talked to the couple from Nebraska while getting their beer. Absolutely no one was slowed down, but everyone felt welcome. She was cool because she could've killed about 20 people while I was there, but she just smiled and answered all their questions. Whoever you are young lady, you have the gift.

        Well, that's about the end of anniversary day. We're about to re-heat our  HOT chicken with pimento Mac n' cheese, creamy red potato salad and black eyed pea salad.... When in Rome.

Bill Robertson

The Wedding(s) Blog #8 (Tuscaloosa: The stadium, the crazy hotel upgrade, the great bartender, the Alabama walk-on and the good Italian food)

     We made it out of New Orleans bound for Tennessee. But first, Teresa and I stopped overnight in Tuscaloosa, Alabama while mom and Julia continued further up the highway.

     Our decision to stop in the home of The Crimson Tide has most certainly met with mixed reactions.... apparently some people really don't like anything associated with Alabama football.

Bryant-Denny Stadium/Tuscaloosa, Ala.

     Our first stop was home to the Crimson Tide, Bryant-Denny stadium on the University of Alabama campus.
     Did you know the moniker Crimson Tide likely originated from a 1930s sportswriter who noted the football team looked like a crimson tide during a muddy football game. Equally interesting, the school's elephant mascot either originates from another sportswriter who noted the sound the big men make when entering a stadium or from the team's luggage tags also from the 1930s. Hmm, who knew?

Bama Walk of Fame

         If the big stadium's not enough, the Walk of Fame leading to it is definitely a stroll stopper. The bigger than life statue of Coach Paul "Bear" Bryant caught my camera. But there are about six more statues of Alabama's famous coaches lining the 'walk.'

     One thing I noticed was... All are practically spotless. Only one had a splatter of aviary evidence. So, either someone's assigned pigeon duty or there's a no fly zone around these statues. Just seemed odd to me.

     Another something that seemed strange was... We parked where the above photo was taken. Notice that no one's in the shot. Then, I was the only person on the 'Walk of Fame'. Granted it's June and school's out. But it just caught me as ironic considering how jam packed this area must be on home Saturdays.

     Now to our crazy hotel upgrade. First let me remind everyone that I AM CHEAP. I'm so cheap that just today, I asked T to get the generic aspirin versus the name brand to save one dollar. The Bayer was $2.89. The generic was $1.89. That's savings!
     So when it came to our Tuscaloosa overnight stay, I booked us a Hotel Indigo practically on campus with a FANTASTIC RATE. I figured out why it was such a great rate when I saw it way down a steep hill.
      "Hi. If I don't want to drive, how do we get up that hill? I'm presuming all the good eats are up that hill," I said while checking in.
      "Hi. Yes. There are a ton of fun places up the hill," said the check-in clerk. "They're just walking distance."
      I said, "Hah! Not if your 55 and on blood pressure medicine they're not!"
      "Oh. We have LYFT."

     More about the hill and the cool locals and dinner coming up. But first, for whatever reason.... They gave us a suite upgrade at check-in and it was a doosey. Take a look.

     T & I are talkers. When we're out town, we're not a 'leave us alone' type of couple. We strike up conversations. Sometimes, we're snuffed out. But most times, we meet interesting people like Symone Billups and Michael Hale.
     In this instance, we stopped at the hotel's watering hole before venturing out for supper. It didn't take long before we began peppering both Symone and Michael with questions.

Symone & Michael/Hotel Indigo, Tuscaloosa Ala

     She was studying anatomy. He was having dinner. Eventually, we got around to the local eateries but first we learned so much more.
     Symone's a Sports Science major just months from graduating. She plans to go to dental school. That was her first plan when she was younger, but admits she got side tracked. Now, she seemed convinced that taking care of teeth is in her future.
     Michael was a walk-on football player at the university. He was also in the National Guard. He suited up for two years before he was deployed to Egypt. He told us he was not impressed with Egypt, but if we ever got to Tel Aviv, "just get off the plane and smell the air.. amazing." Now, he's prepping for his new job, coaching high school basketball. Thanks Symone and Michael. We enjoyed our visit with you both.

      From there, we were off to Tuscaloosa's DePalma Italian restaurant. Yes, it was up the hill but an easy ride.

DePalma's/Tuscaloosa, Ala

     We knew we were in the right place when the five guys waiting outside had to get their Italian passports to be served at the bar.
     DePalma's proved perfect. It was a neighborhood joint with low light, low ceilings, crowded tables and lots of families.
     The food was in a word... fantastic! When I tell you to try their baked feta with crushed black pepper and cherry tomatoes appetizer, I really mean try their baked feta appetizer. Wow!
     Best of all, it's in a college town with a college town vibe and college town prices.

      Bottom line is, I can't say enough good things about Tuscaloosa and the locals. If nothing else, it sits along The Black Warrior River. What a great, strong name!

      Still, GEAUX TIGERS! BEAT BAMA!

Bill Robertson

   

   
   



   

The Wedding(s) Blog #7 (Zach & Nadia's Wedding, The Video)

     It took seven blog posts, a few hundred miles, a battle with Africanized bees, a snake in our house, a few beignets and brush with Bob Hope, but finally I actually have a wedding to show you in this Wedding(s) blog. Congratulations and much love to my nephew, Zach, and his new bride, Nadia.

     Next, great Italian food in Tuscaloosa, a really big stadium, a truck fire that closed Interstate 65, Monica the chatty waitress and maybe the electric car.

Bill Robertson