The Snake Whisperers

     As I suspected, it didn't take long for something good enough, bad enough or weird enough to cross my bow and spark inspiration for another blog post.

     In this case, I'm going with weird enough. But the word weird is probably too strong. This is a case of something I'd never consider as a business, a hobby or even an interest. So for those who do, it's not weird at all, but business as usual.

Max & Josh with Big Country Snake Removal

     To bring you up to speed, we had a snake in our house the night before we left on our 2018 Wedding(s) Road trip. It was definitely bad luck and even worse timing. So, we made arrangements with Big Country Snake Removal to help us when we returned 18-days later. It's safe to say that neither T nor myself ever forgot about that snake in our house the entire time we were with family and friends.

     Our situation turned out to be pretty benign, but make no mistakes about it... these young men and Big Country Snake Removal take care, and that's the key phrase here.. take care, of some pretty angry and dangerous reptiles. Take a look.

     To make it clear.... This is NOT the snake Max and Josh found in our house. In fact, they didn't find any snakes in our house. The snake in the video is one they captured on a previous service call with the intention of relocating in a place devoid of people or livestock.

     Remember I wrote that Big Country Snake Removal cares for snakes? Their goal is like fishing... Catch and Release to protect both people and snakes.

     These guys spent about two hours at our house checking inside and outside. They went under the house, through the house, around the house and more. In that two hours, I learned more about snakes than I ever imagined, dreamed, hoped for or dreaded to know.

     For example, the snake in our house was likely a Colubrid. So, here's a conversation I never expected.
     "My wife saw the snake here. It went under the refrigerator," I told Max and Josh.
     "It was likely a colubrid."
     "A what?"
     "A colubrid... non-venomous."
     "That's good. My wife said it was the diameter of her index finger and as long as her forearm."
     "Yep. A colubrid. Probably a rat snake."
     "Not venomous?"
     "No sir. How'd it get in the house?"
     "They can climb. Rattlers don't climb. We'll check everything and let you know."

     They did indeed check absolutely everything! Later, I had another conversation I never expected. Here's how it went.

     "Right now, snakes are in estivation," Max & Josh told me. "Hibernation for cold blooded animals is actually called brumation, but it's essentially the same thing," they explained.
      "Okay, I think," I said all the while thinking this is going to be a cool blog if I can figure out how to spell estivation.
      "So right now, they're looking to stay cool." The guys told me. "All snakes are looking to stay cool and female rattlers are looking for a cool, safe place to drop their babies. The chore is, don't give them a reason to stay cool at your house."
      "And how do I do that?"
      "Eliminate their food and water sources," they explained.

     When the fellas talked about eliminating food, I knew exactly what they meant...Get rid of the rats and mice. Any city folks reading this might be cringing at the possibility of rats and mice around a home, but here in west Texas they're as regular as the sunrise and sunset.

      We even had a summer a few years ago that we refer to as the "summer of the rats." We had so many that we could name them Larry, Curly & Moe. I named them "Dead," "Deader" and "Deadest." It was a regular evening to stand on my porch with  about 30-minutes to spare before sunset and get off 10 to 15 shots with my dearly departed father-in-law's 410 at big Norway rats around our house.

Add caption

         So here's what Max and Josh recommend.

         To eliminate the food source (rats & mice)
           -Kill 'em! Lots and lots of poison
           -If you have pets, keep them away from poison
           -Eliminate dripping water sites like condensation lines, pet water               bowels, etc.

          To eliminate snakes in your house
            -Seal all holes into your home with foam spray
            -A hole bigger than a pencil is too big
            -Kill the rats and mice!
                                                        -Eliminate easy water access

                                                        To know
                                                         -Most snakes are colubrids. Not harmful.
                                                         -Rattlers do NOT climb/colubrids can climb
                                                         -Snake Away & Mothballs don't work
                                                         -Snake activity in cooler months = Den possibilities
                                                         -Rattlers are sneaky/Never take a corner for granted
                                                         -Don't fear colubrids/They kill mice/rats = Less food for rattlers

     I can't say enough about Max and Josh's thoroughness. They checked everything and ventured way beyond the perimeter of our home. Without hesitation, call Big Country Snake Removal when in need.

Bill Robertson

Wedding(s) Blog #12 (The Wrap-up)

     Well, we're done with our 2018 Wedding(s) Road Trip. Besides Allison and Jack still on their honeymoon, I think just about everyone involved in both weddings is back where they belong.

     So if a picture is worth a thousand words, here are thousands of  words put to video to wrap-up our 2018 Wedding(s) Road Trip.

     Well in a phrase, that's all she wrote. Now what? I don't know. But, I'm guessing other good things and probably a few weird things and hopefully not many bad things will get my attention and merit future blogs. We'll see. I still can't see the future.

Bill Robertson

Wedding(s) Blog #11 (The second & Last Wedding)

     There's no point burying the lead. The second and final wedding in our 2018 Wedding(s) Road Trip is in the books. Jack Dennison Robertson married Allison MacLean Grant at 6:00pm, June 23, 2018 at St. George's Episcopal Church in Nashville, Tennessee.

Grant-Robertson Wedding

       Thanks to the bride's mom, Mary Howell Grant, I can give you my society page impersonation, the bride wore a pearl, sweetheart neck-spaghetti strap gown, a beaded bodice with a ball gown skirt of layered silk tulle and a simple-fingertip veil. Not a bad description, if I say so myself.

Allison & Jack Robertson

       

      The groom wore a navy blue tuxedo with a white shirt, gray bow time and gray suspenders with brown shoes. 

     By the way, I still don't get the brown shoes with everything look. I like it, but back in my day we wore black or cordovan shoes with matching belts. Apparently back in my day was so long ago that I actually had to explain what cordovan is/was. By the way, it's the color of a liver chestnut horse... that probably doesn't help.

     There are many, many highlights to share about Allison and Jack's great evening. But first, here's how they got to the "I Do's" and how we arrived at the reception.

Bridal Luncheon

     While Jack and his groomsmen were off doing their thing, Allison's three aunts, on her dad's side, hosted a bridal luncheon.

     The ladies all met at The Harding House restaurant. Mom is definitely height challenged by the looks of the photo at left but, she and Teresa returned to their drivers, that is my sister Julia and I, all smiles and excited about meeting so many of Allison's family.

     Funny thing about a wedding weekend when you're part of the bridal group.... time absolutely disappears. It's uncanny. You wake up. You set a schedule. At first blush, it sure looks like there's time. But, poof! It's like the clock is over-caffeinated. All the time you thought you would have between events absolutely vanishes.

     

Allison & Jack's Rehearsal Dinner/Maffioza's

     A few hours later that seemed like mere minutes, we were all gathered at Mafiaoza's, a fun Italian place in Nashville's aggressively gentrified east side.

      I think a pretty good time was had by all. It's funny when you get so many family members and friends together in one place for a special reason.

      I met more aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents than I have in a long time. Thank goodness Teresa was at my side or at least within eye contact. 

      "Okay, who's the woman in the blue dress," I'd ask.

      "The short blue dress or the tea length blue dress?"

      "What's tea length?"

      "It's longer but not to the floor."

      "I dunno…. that lady." Then, I'd point.

      "Don't point!!!"

      "Okay, the lady at 12 o'clock. Is that Mary's mom (mother of the bride) or John's mom (mother of the groom)?"

       "You're 12 o'clock or my 12 o'clock?"

       "Her." And, I'd point again.

      Anyway, it was kind of like that most of the night. By closing time, I think I knew who belonged to whom, but name tags and a brief description in parentheses would've been a huge help. Something like: Name: Jane Doe (John's younger sister, third child to Mr. & Mrs. Grant from Atlanta). Just saying. 

Groom's Breakfast

        Wedding day began with a groom's breakfast at our place while Allison and her attendants did their thing.

           We cooked the green chile & cheddar eggs while Mr. Cracker, Mrs. Barrel and little place called Publix provided the lion's share of the feast.

         It turns out, ice-cold bottled water was the big attraction at breakfast. Apparently, it was a dehydrating type of night after the rehearsal dinner.

         Thank goodness my step-son Cody convinced their apparent mary-jane smoking contract driver to stop for snuff and water on their way from the big fun at Mafiaoza's.

     

Jack & Bill Robertson

          Again as it's apt to do, time flew by. Before I knew it, we were at this fantastic church taking pre-ceremony family pictures. I've thought about changing the picture to the right because it looks like I'm a little worse for wear. The truth is, I'm whispering something to Jack.

    

         I'm not sure who Allison's family hired as their photographer, but her middle name should be 'efficient.' Wow. 

      The ceremony began promptly at 6:00. Sorry, no inside pictures. We were kindly encouraged to refrain and I know we did because we were sitting on the first row.

     By 6:30 on the dot, we were done and gathering for the drive to the reception at Nashville's Bell Tower.

     Allison & Jack entered the reception and the joyful applause set the tone for the night and fun ahead.

     Beginning with the couples' first dance to Allison's dance with her father, family and guests couldn't have asked for more.

Father-Daughter Dance

     He's hard to see but the young man singing, on the left side of this photo is Allison's younger brother, Jack. He's a recent Tulane graduate who's bound for law school at Belmont University in Nashville. I didn't know the song, but he's a Tulane grad going on to law school and he sings.. really sings.  I'm pretty sure he's the right stuff.

     After the dances, a short welcome from Mr. Grant and a feast of food- stations ranging from Asian fare to good old fashioned southern favorites to mashed potatoes, the party jumped from holy cow to hold onto your hat.

     Just when I thought I had enough gumption to get on the dance floor and shake, rattle and roll, Teresa turned to me and said... "You knew it when you married me. I'm not a dancing girl." I felt like I dodged a bullet, but take a look.

     So, that's a wrap on our wedding(s) road trip... at least the wedding(s) part. Just like about everyone else involved, we too gotta get back to the real world. I hope to put a 'firm' wrap on the whole adventure when we're back in Snyder, America.

  

     But I couldn't sign off without extending my thanks to the many, many old and new friends and family who really did the leg work for Zachary, Nadia, Jack and Allison. So to all of you, please accept our heartfelt thanks.

     But I must give proper thanks to our Lord who provides all blessings. Also, I offer a huge thanks to my lovely bride, Teresa, who's talked me off of every ledge imaginable, to my mother (Marianne) who at 86 doesn't have a worrisome bone in her body, to my amazingly patient and helpful little sister Julia and to my older sister, Laura, and her family who are Webster's dictionary of all things that should be right in the world.

Bill Robertson

      

     

     

Wedding(s) Blog #10 (Budgets, Biscuits, Bass Pro & Grocery Store Radio)

     We're just days from our second and last wedding on our great 2018 Wedding(s) Road Trip. So without a doubt we're trying to fit in as many visits, moments and out of town experiences as possible. We covered a lot of territory in the last 24-hours.

Jack & Allison/Loveless Café

     In no particular order, here are some of the things we've done, said or discovered.

     Today started with an early morning breakfast with Jack and Allison at Nashville's iconic eatery, The Loveless Café. The last time I was here was about 15 years ago for Jack's birthday.
      Back then he was a Corvette nut. So, I'd arranged for a co-worker, who owned a Corvette, to surprise us at Loveless with his convertible car. The bottom line is, Jack and I took a mildy, high speed drive up and down the historic Natchez Trace in Tommy Terry's Corvette.
     This time, Allison, Jack, Teresa and I had a great visit and a hearty southern breakfast before they had to scatter for their own chores and work.

     Teresa and I realize how blessed we are to have the means to take this road trip and our other adventures. We each have our unofficial duties on the road. T's like "Julie" from "The Love Boat." She's our road trip director. Me, I'm the wallet guy. My role is for us to enjoy our visits but always be mindful of the expenses. Sometimes, we have to have a meeting of the minds.

     We had some unexpected expenses yesterday. So when Teresa began talking about shopping, I said, "I'm going to give you a word. It's six letters, begins with a 'B' and ends with a 'T. Fill in the blanks."
     "Is there a 'W'?" She asked.
     "No."
     "Is there an 'A'"?
     "No. It's six letters, begins with a 'B' and ends with a 'T'".
     "What? What's it about?"
     "About all we're spending."
     "Oh! Budget!"
     "Yes. Budget."
     "Oh Bill."

Bass Pro/Nashville

     Within 24 hours, we were at the mall getting T some sandals. After that, we had time to spare so I said, "I want to go to Bass Pro."
I think T's exact words were, "Can we buy something?"
"No," I said.

     Turns out, I got some shorts and got Joe (my youngest) a hat. Cruise director Julie trumped Wallet William.



     Now to a weird something that I always expected but wondered about. Have you ever noticed that grocery stores play really good music? It's really not uncommon for me to walk the aisles of our local grocer singing along with the tunes piped into the store from the veggies to the frozen food section.
      The audio's probably very hard to hear in this video, but I remember a really good song wafting down from the ceiling tiles.

          Today, we confirmed it. There are really grocery store radio stations. A customer service clerk, who we spotted dancing in place at her register today, confirmed it. Just because I'll talk to anyone I asked about the music and if there were specific grocery store music stations. I couldn't believe it when she said that there are at least three music stations that supply grocery store music.

     We have a lot going on in the next couple days... family coming to town, rehearsals, rehearsal dinners, showers and sooner or later the second and final wedding of our 2018 Wedding(s) Road Trip.

Bill Robertson

The Wedding(s) Blog #9 (Hot Chicken, Anniversary, Crazy Rain & Downtown Franklin)

     We're one wedding down with one more to go on our Great Wedding(s) Road Trip of 2018.To review, my nephew Zach married his bride Nadia Kelly Sunday June 10th at John Folse's White Oak Plantation in Baton Rouge. It really was practically perfect in every way.      

Mr. & Mrs. Zachary Richmond

     Now, our caravan of Texans that includes mom, Julia (my lil' sister), Teresa and me is in a holding pattern until the next BIG day... My son Jack's wedding to his fiancé Allison Grant in Nashville. T & I are holed up in Music City. Mom and Julia are bunking near Crossville at some lake with a beach or two.

      I'm guessing mom and Julia are doing their thing. I know we are, as we're definitely "when in Rome' kind of folks. Here's the latest in the Readers Digest version.

Franklin, TN.

     First outing, Franklin Tennessee. I lived in Franklin back in my Tennessee days. The downtown area was always fun with lots of shops, restaurants and more.
      This is the heart of Williamson County known for its country music stars and boutique stores.
      We visited early before the crowds began. Our goal was park, eat, walk, get car & get out before the humidity  didn't match the 90-degree temperature. We got close but by the time we'd finished lunch at Meridees, which back in my day was just a fun bakery but now's an open all day eatery with crazy pastries, pies, breads and sandwiches, I'd taken showers less wet than the absolutely soaking outside weather.

Meridee's/Franklin, TN

     Meridee's was well known back in the early 1990s for amazing pastries. Back then, it closed at 11am. Now, it's open til almost 11pm. 

      I had the Ultimate Club. If you need to know anything about me, I am a CLUB SANDWICH OFFICIONADO. I can't resist them. I'll tell you a secret too. That is, always add mustard to a club if you want the ULTIMATE gastro-experience.

      T had an incredible French Dip. The bread was soft, but crunchy. The meat was sliced the thinness of card stock. The au jus was drinkable.  

       We took home some of their chicken salad, parmesan/sundried tomato bread and pecan pie. The chicken salad.. I've had better. The bread... pretty dern good. The pecan pie... we should've gotten a second slice.

     You know you're from west Texas when, you stop you're indoor fun to go outside to capture the rain on video.

      Next day.... Father's Day! Oh, we had a great full day that included time with Jack and Joe on the course and at the local eateries and the big rain. It was indeed a really great day.

Lower Broadway/Nashville

      Next for us... Anniversary day! We had a plan. We kind of kept to it. Our first goal was to go to downtown Nashville. 

      You gotta know that getting to downtown Nashville is akin to standing in line at the dentist's office for a root canal. As Teresa likes to say, 'gear down.'

       Then when you get down there, good luck finding a parking place. On street parking is apparently available IF you get their before sunrise. Otherwise, get ready for waiting at a garage and be prepared to go undergound for a slot that's barely wide enough for  two bicycles parked pedal to pedal.

      Still, it was our anniversary and we were bound to get downtown. We had a plan.

Jack's Bbq/Nashville

     First stop, Jack's Bbq on Broadway. We found this hole in the wall, on arguably Nashville's most frequented street, a few years ago. We went because the name is "Jack's." That's my son's name. So we figured, good or bad... we'll eat, take a picture and call it good.

     Turns out... It's GREAT!. So for anniversary day we decided to return and it definitely did NOT disappoint. We parked three floors underground, walked a few blocks, had a great lunch, walked around a bit and got the heck out of the cluster of tourists.

     The funny thing though about walking around a city like Nashville is, you never know what you're going to see. All we did was take a right out the front door and it was photo op after photo op OR weird conversation after unexpected conversation.

Tootsie's Alley/Nashville

     First, we stumbled across Tootsie's Alley. As the story goes, this is the alley Grand Ole Opry performers and/or their bands/mates/etc  would cross to drink while the performers performed.

     It just so happens that up that alley, on the left and behind the second door we met the tour manager for "Third Day." I don't know who they are, but we met 'em.'

     After the alley, it was all a 'small town guy in a big city' experience. As T said, "Take a picture of that. You don't see that every day in Snyder, America."

Nashville TN

           

Elvis on Broadway/Nashville

Home of the Preds/Nashville

     So as you can see, T pointed out a lot of stuff. It's not everyday Elvis sings to you on the street. It's not everyday a massive crane casts a shadow over your sidewalk and it's not every day the Bridgestone Arena/Home of the Nashville Predators is across the street.

      The city's changed a lot, a whole lot since my days as a morning co-anchor on WSMV, by the way the oldest TV station in Nashville. WSM actually means "We Serve Millions" because the station was started by an insurance company. But by the time I worked there, I'd tell people: "This is Bill Robertson from WSMV.... William, Sex, Murder, Violence." They'd say... "Oh yeah."

        We wrapped up our day the way we began with the local food. Although we've never had it, we've always heard …. "Don't miss the Nashville HOT chicken."

Hattie B's Hot Chicken/Nashville

      Our last anniversary agreement was, get Hattie B's HOT Chicken. It's a Nashville hotspot. So we said... bring it.

      We told Jack and Joe our plans. They said, "Call ahead, get it to go. Don't wait in line." We followed their advice.

 

      By the time we arrived the line was around the block. Our phone-in paid off. I walked right in. But while there, I watched this incredible person at the register.

       All the while I was waiting, she was dealing with folks who'd been waiting in 95 degree heat for HOT chicken. They weren't happy.

 

       Whoever this young person is, she was warm and cool at the same time. She was warm in that she broke the angry ice with every customer. I watched and listened to her ask about hometowns, states, teams... everything. But she did it in a way that didn't slow down the line. She talked to the people from Austin while running their credit card. She talked to the couple from Nebraska while getting their beer. Absolutely no one was slowed down, but everyone felt welcome. She was cool because she could've killed about 20 people while I was there, but she just smiled and answered all their questions. Whoever you are young lady, you have the gift.

        Well, that's about the end of anniversary day. We're about to re-heat our  HOT chicken with pimento Mac n' cheese, creamy red potato salad and black eyed pea salad.... When in Rome.

Bill Robertson

The Wedding(s) Blog #8 (Tuscaloosa: The stadium, the crazy hotel upgrade, the great bartender, the Alabama walk-on and the good Italian food)

     We made it out of New Orleans bound for Tennessee. But first, Teresa and I stopped overnight in Tuscaloosa, Alabama while mom and Julia continued further up the highway.

     Our decision to stop in the home of The Crimson Tide has most certainly met with mixed reactions.... apparently some people really don't like anything associated with Alabama football.

Bryant-Denny Stadium/Tuscaloosa, Ala.

     Our first stop was home to the Crimson Tide, Bryant-Denny stadium on the University of Alabama campus.
     Did you know the moniker Crimson Tide likely originated from a 1930s sportswriter who noted the football team looked like a crimson tide during a muddy football game. Equally interesting, the school's elephant mascot either originates from another sportswriter who noted the sound the big men make when entering a stadium or from the team's luggage tags also from the 1930s. Hmm, who knew?

Bama Walk of Fame

         If the big stadium's not enough, the Walk of Fame leading to it is definitely a stroll stopper. The bigger than life statue of Coach Paul "Bear" Bryant caught my camera. But there are about six more statues of Alabama's famous coaches lining the 'walk.'

     One thing I noticed was... All are practically spotless. Only one had a splatter of aviary evidence. So, either someone's assigned pigeon duty or there's a no fly zone around these statues. Just seemed odd to me.

     Another something that seemed strange was... We parked where the above photo was taken. Notice that no one's in the shot. Then, I was the only person on the 'Walk of Fame'. Granted it's June and school's out. But it just caught me as ironic considering how jam packed this area must be on home Saturdays.

     Now to our crazy hotel upgrade. First let me remind everyone that I AM CHEAP. I'm so cheap that just today, I asked T to get the generic aspirin versus the name brand to save one dollar. The Bayer was $2.89. The generic was $1.89. That's savings!
     So when it came to our Tuscaloosa overnight stay, I booked us a Hotel Indigo practically on campus with a FANTASTIC RATE. I figured out why it was such a great rate when I saw it way down a steep hill.
      "Hi. If I don't want to drive, how do we get up that hill? I'm presuming all the good eats are up that hill," I said while checking in.
      "Hi. Yes. There are a ton of fun places up the hill," said the check-in clerk. "They're just walking distance."
      I said, "Hah! Not if your 55 and on blood pressure medicine they're not!"
      "Oh. We have LYFT."

     More about the hill and the cool locals and dinner coming up. But first, for whatever reason.... They gave us a suite upgrade at check-in and it was a doosey. Take a look.

     T & I are talkers. When we're out town, we're not a 'leave us alone' type of couple. We strike up conversations. Sometimes, we're snuffed out. But most times, we meet interesting people like Symone Billups and Michael Hale.
     In this instance, we stopped at the hotel's watering hole before venturing out for supper. It didn't take long before we began peppering both Symone and Michael with questions.

Symone & Michael/Hotel Indigo, Tuscaloosa Ala

     She was studying anatomy. He was having dinner. Eventually, we got around to the local eateries but first we learned so much more.
     Symone's a Sports Science major just months from graduating. She plans to go to dental school. That was her first plan when she was younger, but admits she got side tracked. Now, she seemed convinced that taking care of teeth is in her future.
     Michael was a walk-on football player at the university. He was also in the National Guard. He suited up for two years before he was deployed to Egypt. He told us he was not impressed with Egypt, but if we ever got to Tel Aviv, "just get off the plane and smell the air.. amazing." Now, he's prepping for his new job, coaching high school basketball. Thanks Symone and Michael. We enjoyed our visit with you both.

      From there, we were off to Tuscaloosa's DePalma Italian restaurant. Yes, it was up the hill but an easy ride.

DePalma's/Tuscaloosa, Ala

     We knew we were in the right place when the five guys waiting outside had to get their Italian passports to be served at the bar.
     DePalma's proved perfect. It was a neighborhood joint with low light, low ceilings, crowded tables and lots of families.
     The food was in a word... fantastic! When I tell you to try their baked feta with crushed black pepper and cherry tomatoes appetizer, I really mean try their baked feta appetizer. Wow!
     Best of all, it's in a college town with a college town vibe and college town prices.

      Bottom line is, I can't say enough good things about Tuscaloosa and the locals. If nothing else, it sits along The Black Warrior River. What a great, strong name!

      Still, GEAUX TIGERS! BEAT BAMA!

Bill Robertson

   

   
   



   

The Wedding(s) Blog #7 (Zach & Nadia's Wedding, The Video)

     It took seven blog posts, a few hundred miles, a battle with Africanized bees, a snake in our house, a few beignets and brush with Bob Hope, but finally I actually have a wedding to show you in this Wedding(s) blog. Congratulations and much love to my nephew, Zach, and his new bride, Nadia.

     Next, great Italian food in Tuscaloosa, a really big stadium, a truck fire that closed Interstate 65, Monica the chatty waitress and maybe the electric car.

Bill Robertson

The Weddings Blog #6 (Oysters, a Kitchen Fight & Bob Hope)

     Before I began writing this blog post, I intended the lead sentence to be something like: We finally made it to NOLA and even survived. Now, it's time to write about the first wedding.
     The problem is, so many strange, exciting and even once in a lifetime experiences happened both before and after my nephew's wedding that I'm gonna tell that story first. I promise to do my nephew's wedding justice in just a bit.

     So without any further ado, how about some raw oysters and a kitchen fight to get this blog post started.

Oysters @ The Blind Pelican/NOLA

     Everything, I'm writing is true. Teresa, mom, Julia and I wanted some raw oysters one evening in NOLA. Joe, my youngest, recommended The Blind Pelican on St. Charles Avenue.

     "Why not," we all said. The place is in one of those old businesses on St. Charles. The type of place that's probably been at least a dozen other eateries or such over the years. In this case, they'd done just about everything to make it feel and look like you might expect a place called The Blind Pelican to look like in NOLA.
     We should've known we were in for an experience when the porch smelled like my old fraternity house on Sunday morning and our table had that old, familiar sticky, post-party stickiness to it. Then there was our waitress who I'm pretty sure learned the sound of "raw oysters" and understood two fingers meant two dozen.
     All was going good. The oysters, even though June doesn't have the letter 'R', were good... served with zesty, tingly horseradish, lemon, ketchup and saltines. I was on about my fourth or fifth shelled concoction when a young man dressed in kitchen garb hurried past us and down the stairs to the street. It was seconds later when we heard "YOU'RE FIRED! YOU'RE FIRED! DON'T COME BACK!"

     The kitchen fella did return and the "YOU'RE FIRED... YOU'RE FIRED" picked up again. It all happened pretty fast. I'm pretty sure it's taking me longer to write the story than the time it took for the actual dinner and a show.
   

Café du Monde/NOLA

      Never the ones to let a kitchen quarrel get us down, we pushed on for beignets at the world famous Café du Monde in the French Quarter.
     We asked Julia to drive as she's the only one of us who lives and drives in a city with more than a few traffic lights and speed limits in excess of 35 mph.
     The famous French donut didn't disappoint. We devoured the big, fluffy pastries generously topped with powdered sugar with mugs of steaming hot café au lait. Just like so many years ago, it was still cheap. I think our bill was $25 and that included the gratuity.

     So you see (or read) that we came upon some fun, exciting things before and after nephew Zach's wedding. But the possible once in a lifetime event was still ahead of us.

National World War Two Museum/NOLA

        The National World War Two Museum is rated the number two museum in the world according to TripAdvisor and we couldn't pass up a chance to see it. As if the giant plane hanging over our heads wasn't enough to convince us that we were in for something significant, our first conversation with a volunteer was icing on the cake.

Bob Hope Exhibit/WWII Museum

                     
     We were waiting to get into the first exhibit. Marianne struck up a conversation that went like this....
     "Where are y'all from," asked the volunteer.
     "Texas."
     "I'm from a little further south."
     "Where? Mexico? "mom asked.
     "Further. Cuba."
     "Cuba! How long have you been in the U-S?"
     "58-years."
     "How'd you get out? We're you C.I.A.?"
     "I wasn't. My grandmother worked for the C.I.A. The C.I.A. got my family out and moved us to Montana."

   

               So, if it wasn't the giant plane or the man who escaped Castro thanks to his spy grandmother it might have been the touching "So Ready to Laugh," Bob Hope exhibit or the incredible 4-D movie narrated by Tom Hanks, complete with vibrating seats that made the National World War Two Museum a contender for once in a life time event.

     The food, the fun and the French Quarter are all must Dos in New Orleans. But trust me on this because I speak from genuine experience. I've had a lot of the food, the fun and the French Quarter but the few hours we spent at this museum topped all that previous frivolity.... no question!!!

Bill Robertson

   

The Wedding(s) Blog #5 (Karaoke Cab, KInda Good Eats & Streetcars)

     Our two car caravan of Teresa, Julia (my lil' sister,) mom and I made it to The Crescent City just in time for rush hour on a Friday. It's been precisely 31 years since I've been here so not surprisingly I made a mistake when I thought I knew where we were going.
     Besides the long delay that comes with the expected traffic at 5:00 on a Friday, I took the wrong exit. So, we got a close up look at New Orleans' Central Business District. I knew we weren't in Snyder, America anymore when they guy at the red light wanted to wash our windows and I saw the Superdome on our right versus our left. The bottom line is: We found our place on St. Charles Avenue and all was right in the world.

NOLA/Looking North

           The expression is 'When in Rome..." That means when in New Orleans... EAT! Back in the day, I was a student and a waiter here in NOLA. I knew every bumpy, one way road to the places that came with a lot of creole and families. I was surprised to see that many of my old favs were still open and operating.

Mandina's, NOLA

     Joe and his long time girlfriend, Sharon Anderson, had taken the train into New Orleans. They'd beat us here by a day. We met up with them at an old Mid-City haunt called Mandina's.
      This is the same place where years ago, I tried to catch one of the stray kittens outside the main entrance. I didn't get supper that night. Instead, I got a couple bottles of hydrogen peroxide to treat all the kitten scratches up and down my arms.
       We ate. We visited. We ate and visited some more till it was time to Lyft our way back to our hotel.... this is where the story takes an unexpected turn.
     Teresa and I use Lyft/Uber quite a bit when on the road. Up until this night, all our rides have been pretty tame. But not this time... Start the video and turn up the volume...

     The video's hard to see, but that right hand, going left to right, in the front seat is that of Marianne... my 86 year old mom. She and Conrad, our driver, sang Neil Diamond, Abba, Lynard Skynard and Grease. Guess there's a first time for everything.
   
    

Jack & Allison

      At this point, we're still two days from our first wedding. So, I'll cut to the chase.      


      Jack and Allison came to NOLA, we all took a streetcar ride up and down St. Charles Avenue, ate our fair share of oysters, sampled the sweet beignets and café au lait at Café du Monde and found out that if you wait long enough at an old French Quarter watering hole like the ancient Chart Room a Second Line is bound to crank up the jazz.

     All that food, fun, karaoke and Second Lining served as a great appetizer to our first main course, that is the wedding for Zachary and Nadia. I have lots of pictures and stories to share like a kitchen fight, the World War II Museum, and seeing my best from high school 30-odd years after our last visit. That's coming up in my next post.

Bill Robertson

The Wedding(s) Blog #4 (A Snake, A Beaver & An Old Favorite)

     Our 2018 Wedding(s) Road Trip has begun. In fact, one wedding is already in the books. I'll have much more on that coming up. But first, how we got here is one part fun, one part, tiring and one part potentially life changing. I'll start with the latter of the three.

     Before we ever got out of Snyder, America, in fact the night before we left west Texas, we had possibly one of the top five worst things that can happen inside a house.
     I was already in bed. Teresa was turning off some lights. My house were closed. Then this is what happened....

     "Bill! There's a SNAKE!!!"
     "What? Where?"
     "IN THE HOUSE."

     Yep. Enough said. I didn't see it. T said it was the diameter of her thumb and the length of her forearm. It disappeared under the refrigerator. We slept on the couch at the ranch that night. Suffice it to say, we didn't exactly rest too easily that last night before blast off for the weddings.

     The abbreviated version of the road trip is: Two cars, nephew's wedding in Baton Rouge, son's wedding later in Nashville, first night Shreveport, next few nights New Orleans & then on the road to Nashville.

     The drive from Snyder to Shreveport was nothing out of the ordinary. We made it through the metroplex, got to Shreveport, stayed the night & left for New Orleans. Besides the SNAKE scare, the meat of this blog began Thursday morning.

     First stop, the home of maybe the most famous beaver I know... Buc-ee's in Terrell, Texas about 45 minutes east of Dallas.

      Next stop after overnighting in Shreveport, Lea's Lunchroom in LaCompte, LA. Growing up in Baton Rouge, driving to Lea's for their pies was apparently commonplace. Personally, I never did it but I can't count how many times friends would say "mommas going to Leas for pies."

Lea's Lunchroom/LaCompte, La

     About 10-miles off Interstate 55, LaCompte is a lot like most little towns in Anywhere, USA. The city's named after a quasi-famous Bayou State racehorse, but it's famous for Lea's and their pies.
     So when in Rome... We ate pie. We bought Pie. We browsed and we got back on the road.
     Now after all those years, I understand why all those 'mommas' drove from Baton Rouge to LaCompte.


    We didn't eat lunch at Lea's because we were bound for Baton Rouge and one of my long ago favorite places for lunch.

George's/Baton Rouge

          A lot of things have changed, most things have changed since my Baton Rouge/South Louisiana days, but not George's. It's under I-10 on Perkins Road, you still can't find a place to park, and it's still a grungy, dark place with arguably the worst restrooms in town. But without question, George's still serves a fantastic cheeseburger with a single order of fries or onion rings that's enough to feed four and still have leftovers.
     The inside is kind of pie shaped. The bar's packed with eaters and drinkers. The little tables seat two, but regularly accommodate four or five or even six.
     There are no waiters, just bartenders and cooks. You write your own order get your own drink (non alcoholic,) and stack your empty plates but it's worth every penny. And that's practically what you paid, because it's still cheap, cheap, cheap!
     So by 1:30 on this day, we'd had pie, burgers, fries and onion rings.... in that order. Oh yeah, we had a giant but only mediocre breakfast at our Shreveport hotel.

      We got out B.R. much easier and quicker than we got into B.R. By 5:00pm, we were checked-in to our home away from home in New Orleans (NOLA.) We didn't have too many hiccups in that leg of the drive, but like getting around any real city at rush hour, it wasn't quick or easy.

     Next time, Fun in The Big Easy, Karaoke Cab and Wedding #1 at The White Oak Plantation.

Weddings Blog #3 (Africanized Bees)

     Our Wedding(s) Road Trip 2018 is one day closer, but first how about a not so accidental dangerous dose of battling Africanized bees? It's not so accidental because we brought in professionals to deal with the colony/hive or whatever the poisonous pests call themselves.

      I was zoomed in taking this video from about 50-feet away when less than a few seconds after I hit STOP.... Zap, Bang, Zing.... OUCH! I got stung on the back of the leg. Then, I felt something moving in my hair. That's when I took off for cover in the ranch Big House. Long story short is, I ended my three prong cleaning of Shop-Vac, Dry Swiffer and Wet Swiffer in my underwear and flip flops because I felt more unfamiliar movement in my clothes.

Ryno Pest Control

    Our battle of the bees has been a long time coming. I figured it wouldn't be easy. I didn't figure it'd be so dangerous.
      The fellas in the white suits are Ryan and Cody from Ryno Pest Control in Snyder. They told me that they're wearing white because bees can't see white. This was their first bee call of the season.
       Once they had all their gear on and their equipment up to speed, they quickly went to work. I stood inside taking pictures until the powdered fog they use began coming through the cracks in the building. That's when I thought it'd be a good idea to take pictures from outside the building.

Ryno Pest Control

      So here we are, thinking we're getting all our ducks in a row to go on this 2,200 mile road trip for Zach's wedding and then Jack's wedding and I've got two guys dressed in space gear with tools that look like "Dirt Devils" outside our ranch window.

      At this point, I'm really thinking this is no big deal. These guys will do their thing and we'll be good to go.... good to go on with our 'Caravan of Joy' to Baton Rouge and then Nashville.

     Oh my, I was wrong. The bees covered these guys like the time I wore too much after shave to a golf tournament in Ottumwa, Iowa. I was like "Pig Pen" from THE PEANUTS.

     Earlier, I wrote I escaped to the ranch "Big House." It wasn't long after that, I looked out the front door and spotted the pest control professionals speeding off to the east. Even they had had enough! We texted. It looked like this.. 

Ryan & I Texting Minutes after the Fog

     I'm inside.. practically naked, but feeling pretty safe until the professional tells me he's about to turn around to check on me.

     About this time, I thought... "Okay, stay naked and stay inside."

     

     True to his word, Ryan did come back and still in full gear. I stuck my head out the door.

      "Where are your keys? In your truck,?" he asked.

      "Yeah. Whatcha gonna do?"

      "I'm gonna move it closer so you can get out."

      "I'll be okay."

      "You might think about that."

      "Okay. Will ya move it here?"

       The old red truck got moved. Ryan and Cody left. I continued cleaning in my skivvies and eventually and very quietly made my way back to my truck.

       All the while, Teresa's back at home. I'm telling her not to come over to the ranch because it's not safe. I'm literally whispering to myself all the while trying to grab anything we might need. Then bless her heart, Teresa asks a few favors... like...

Teresa & I Texting Today

     

     I'm dressed at this point. I've finished my three prong cleaning (Shop-Vac, Dry Swiffer & Wet Swiffer) of both the Big and Little Houses. I'm planning/hoping to quietly sneak into my truck, which has been moved by the professional away from the seriously dangerous and poisonous Africanized bees and then.... 'Bring my purse, the book (an autobiography of Katherine Graham) and the phone charger.'

      I've got these deadly bees within feet of me. I've got a burning sting on my leg... but by golly... we do indeed need our phone chargers.

      So as quietly as a church mouse, I get out. I close my door like I used to do when I was sneaking out of the house in high school. I watch where I'm stepping so as not to break a twig. I enter the pavilion. I think I'm holding my breath. I unplug the phone charger which has a pane of glass separating me from the killer bees. I retreat back to the old red truck. I close the door like when I was returning from sneaking out in high school and I hit the gas!!!

     By gosh, our phones are damn sure charged at this writing.

     The unexpected chaos is now over. We're back at the ranch at this writing. We're practically done with all our 'expected' chores before leaving for Wedding(s) Road Trip 2018. Now, it's time to clean the toilets. 

Bill Robertson, I had a dream about snakes last night. If they show up, I'm gonna blast 'em.

 

     

The Wedding(s) Blog #2 (Shop-Vacs, Swiffers & Sneaky Mice)

Baton Rouge to Nashville

     Our wedding(s) road trip 2018 is around the corner. We're now counting the hours more than counting the days.

 

Snyder to Baton Rouge

      To review; My nephew Zach is marrying Nadia in Baton Rouge. Then, my son Jack is marrying Allison less than two weeks later in Nashville.
     Teresa, my sister Julia, mom and I are taking two cars and traveling to each before returning to Snyder.
     I put pencil to paper. According to my math, we'll cover about 2,200 miles of interstate and asphalt in our big circle that'll take us east out of Texas, south through Louisiana, then north through a minimal amount of Mississippi, a lot of Alabama, up and across in Tennessee, southeast through the rough roads of Arkansas and then west, back across Texas.

     So with time running out before we blast off, we're still wrapping up some loose ends, putting ducks in a row, pushing rope uphill and herding cats. We've conquered the multitude of 'little things.' Now, we're tackling the bigger, more sweat worthy tasks.

     That means we're cleaning house. I don't know about you, but T and I do not like to come home from anywhere at anytime to a dirty house. It's a great philosophy until it actually comes time to clean one's house... but we're up to the task and we are armed with a collection of cleaners... and presented with a couple of surprises.

My Tool of Choice

     My tool of choice is our Shop-Vac. I call it our most helpful but cumbersome domestic engineering device. It'll suck up everything but moving around furniture, across rugs, around corners tests my patience.
     If the cord's not long enough, then the extension cord gets trapped. It's like the sucker hose has a mind of its own. It has wheels, but they might as well be blocks. And, if you're trying to pull it behind you... you better go in a straight line and make only right angle turns. Otherwise, it gets stopped by the tiniest of corners and curves. Still, the Shop-Vac's my go to in my three prong attack on west Texas dirt.

Pistachios in the Couch

        
      My job is taking care of the floors, wiping down the furniture... the big stuff. Sometimes, that includes running across a few surprises like we did this morning.
      Teresa said, "Ewww, that couch needs a good dusting."
      So, I went to work with Huggies Baby Wipes... the best dusting tool ever!
      Within seconds I asked, "Who's been eating pistachios on the couch?" I was both surprised and really surprised. First, I love pistachios. But they're expensive so I'd never waste so many. Secondly, I haven't bought any in a long time.
       "What," Teresa asked because neither one of us can hear squat.
       "Who's been eating pistachios on the couch?"
       "The mouse."
       "What," I asked because like I said... neither one of us can hear squat.

      What's really kinda sad about this whole conversation is that neither of us was particularly alarmed that a mouse was hording pistachios in our couch. And maybe even more sad is, neither of us ever noticed a pistachio eating mouse in our house. I did wonder long ago,,, "where are all my pistachios." Suffice it to say, my Shop-Vac took care of the mystery nuts and we probably have one very hungry and angry mouse.    

     Teresa is Olive Oyl to my Bluto of house cleaning. She's the nook and cranny girl. Her tools of choice include just about everything on aisle 10 at our local grocery store.

Teresa's Cleaning Tools

     
     Each bottle, spray and wipe has a specific purpose. Earlier, I mentioned the value of Huggies wipes. Teresa's a firm believer in that a top shelf wipe is a top performer in the great game of dusting.
      Thanks to those sprays, bottles, wipes and more, dust is doomed at our house.
       You have to know I clean my ears by jabbing a cotton swab in my ear. Teresa meticulously twists a baby wipe and gently and deftly releases if not all, most of an adult woman's ear debris.
      And, that's the way she cleans house. While I on the other hand.... slam, bang and smash my way through the 'damnit, let's get this done in a couple hours' process.

Love me some Swiffer!

                                                         
     Another great tool of the trade is the Swiffer. I'm SWIFFER MAN! This stuff is like fire, the wheel and sliced bread. While T's dusting the sound holes in the telephone, I'm doing my best impersonation of a sailor swabbing the deck.
      First, the dry Swiffer to get up any dust missed by my trusty, but clumsy Shop-Vac. Then, the glorious, glossy wet Swiffer.
     By now, you probably figured that we're wood floors type of folks and the Swiffer is da' bom. It completes our three prong attack on the west Texas dirt that settles daily like plaque on teeth.

     Our next chores before take off range from talking to our banker to picking up my seersucker suit and Teresa's rehearsal dress from the cleaners, plus gobs of laundry. Meantime, DON'T WALK ON THE FLOOR!!!

Bill Robertson, I wonder where that mouse is now. He better not be eyeing my chips.