Gracie and Me: Covid-19 #78

     A buck naked man on Hole #8 startled us and I was the buck naked man who slid on my fanny down a flight of stairs. 😬 I think that's the best lead sentence I've ever written because it's completely true and I hope it kept your attention.

     Teresa and I escaped the severe, West Texas heat for a few days for the cool, comfortable mountain air of Pagosa Springs, Colorado. It's 7,750 feet above sea level and we felt every bit of it.. Good and bad. 

Pagosa Springs, Colorado

     The naked man showed up on our first full day. We got up determined to mind our diet, get some exercise and rusticate as best we could. Hole #7 wasn't that big of a deal. It's a dogleg left with sand traps guarding the green. But believe me, Hole #8 with the Naked Man sure got us picking up our pace! 😅

     We were on the cart path, starting at the tee box. The Naked Man exposed himself at about the 150-yard marker. 

Naked Man On #8/Pagosa Golf Course

     T: "There's a man naked in his doorway."

     Me: "Huh?"

     T: "There's a naked man to our left."

     Me: "Where?!"

     T: "To our left, about your eight o'clock."

     Sure enough, there he was. Naked as naked gets. He was standing there stretching behind his sliding glass window. Either he didn't care or he thought his window wasn't see through. He was far enough away that we couldn't see details. But he was close enough that we almost jogged the last 150-yards to the green. 

Lunch with a View/Pagosa Springs, CO

     I wish I had a picture of all the people completely disregarding the Social Distancing Guidelines. It would've been absolutely comical if I/we couldn't get the 'dumbass' quotient out of our heads. I mean bars, restaurants and more jam packed, with mostly Texans... No one wearing a face mask.😭😱😱😱

     We avoided all those places, got our food while wearing masks, stood waaaaaay back from anyone but ourselves and took our culinary eats back to our home away from home. 

Great Food Gets Big Picture/Thai Pagosa

     I celebrated my birthday while in Pagosa and treated myself to two of my favorite things: Chinese food and Golf Stuff.https://thaipagosa.wordpress.com/

     If you ever travel to Pagosa Springs, you gotta stop at a tiny little place called Thai Pagosa . It's about as big as a mall kiosk and the menu is absolutely impossible to read, but it's really, really good.

Calloway Fitting/Pagosa Golf Club

     But before my dumplings and noodles, I did something I've never done in my 48-years of playing golf. I've taken lessons since I was 10-years old. I've bought clubs and played courses from Las Vegas to Albuquerque to Myrtle Beach, but I've never had a club fitting. What a tremendous experience! Suffice it to say, I'm anxiously awaiting our UPS driver.

Smashed Mailbox/Snyder, TX

     Coming home has been interesting and a little painful to say the least. First, we went to check our mail and our mailbox looked like this. I'm guessing a right handed person with a baseball bat had a hand in it. We bought a new mailbox. The check out lady at the hardware store said, "We sure have been selling a lot of mailboxes this week." So, we guess the good news is that our smashed box was a completely random act by a bunch of bored kids. 

Ouch/Cogdell Memorial Hospital

     And now to complete my lead sentence. I fell down our stairs this week. I was in the shower and started to smell electrical smoke. That's when...

     T: "Bill! There's smoke in the house! Get out!"

     Me: "I smell it. Okay." I checked the hot water heater, which is upstairs and all was okay. I wrapped a towel around myself and started down our 'stairs of death.'

     T: "It's downstairs. Look at all the smoke!"

     Me: "Yep, I see it. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap." Bump, bump, bump, bump, bump..."

     My feet slipped out from me. I hit my fanny and then hit every step on the way down. My right leg got pinned under a wooden framed couch and pulled the hide back on my shin like the Toughest Pawnee played by West Studi in "Dances with Wolves" scalped Timmons after he ate the really hot bacon. It hurt and still hurts a lot. Been to the doc twice in 24-hours. The nurses really need to work on not saying, "Oh no."

     Gracie Update: She stayed at her favorite place while we were out of town. It's Klipin K-9s https://www.facebook.com/Klipnk9s/ and she loves it. 

     Diet Update: We exercised so much that even though we had sandwiches and lots of Chinese neither T nor myself gained more than a pound or two.

     Random thought of the day: I've lived with the 'stairs of death' for 12-years and never slipped. 

Bill Robertson (7/31/20,) I think the buck naked man on #8 was about my size. 😁😁😁

     

Gracie and Me: Covid-19 #77

     Covid is stealing joy, but not mine. Who needs 80-days to go around the world? Not me. And who thinks an old Snyder building highlighted on Google Earth isn't worth saving? Not me, again.
     It's crazy, but there are people out there who believe C-19 is a hoax, a conspiracy or an intentionally created virus to deter population growth n China that 'got out of hand.' I can't fix that. I'd rather use my joy focusing on other things. Unfortunately, many are not and Covid's stealing joy.

Hallo/That's Swiss for Hello

     So with that said, I took a trip around the world. It took about 15-minutes. Google Earth is the BOM!
     I'm not sure how or why, but I started at the Matterhorn. I think that's in Switzerland. Actually, I know it is because when I attended San Antonio Academy our Geography Teacher, Mr. Jones, would read stories about the Matterhorn.

Hello. My name is John. Who do I have the most Excellent Pleasure of Talking To/Click Like if you get it.

     From Switzerland, I caught a ride on the information super highway and sped off to India. I have no interest in India except I loved the movie, "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel." Great movie. Judi Dench is fantastic when she teaches the Indian telemarketers how to talk to people who really speak English. That's a clue for the picture's caption.😀

The Pearl Bridge/Japan

     Next, I jumped on that crazy super highway and ended up crossing a big, long, wonderfully engineered suspension bridge in Japan. It's called. the Akashi Kaikyo Bridge. The locals call it the Pearl Bridge and it's considered Japan's finest engineering feat. It's 12,831 feet long. I saw every bit of it and I'm not even tired.

Save the Boren Building/Snyder,Texas

     After that, it was time to come home to Snyder, America. So, I typed in Snyder, Texas in the Google Earth search bar and look what Google Earth has selected to highlight in my hometown.
     That's the historic Boren Building on the southside of the square. It dates back to who knows when. It's named after the famous Boren family and housed so many businesses. Unfortunately, it's vacant and falling into disrepair. A similarly older and abandoned building across the street, that once housed Snyder's first bank and my dad's law office, was demolished in recent years. Hopefully, the same fate is not in store for Snyder's Boren building.

     I'm skipping the Word of the Day because to tell you the truth, it's a pain in the neck to look up. First, I gotta shift tabs, type in 'word of the....' and wait for it. Then if I don't know the word, I gotta double check spelling, figure out what it means, re-type the sentence, yada yada. It's a pain.

     So instead, I'm now going with RANDOM GOOD MEMORIES: #1) Riding my pony "Daisy" here at Randals Corner. By the way.... This feature will never include children's births, weddings, engagements, etc. Those are too easy. It's called RANDOM GOOD MEMORIES.

     Gracie Update: Needy!
     Diet Update: T went to get her hair done in Lubbock. I stayed in Snyder and got a Quarter Pounder with cheese. I'm having skinless chicken tonight.

Bill Robertson (7/15/20,) to my very good friend Ben Murphy who's a TOP SHELF CPA and very busy on this Covid "Tax Day," this is your Super Bowl. Who's the halftime show? Lawrence Welk? That's funny. I don't care who you are.😁😁😁😁😁😁

Gracie and Me: Covid-19 #76

     The electric pencil sharpener is the best invention in the world, the pencil eraser is a close second and call me "Mr. Fix-it."

World's Best Invention/The Windmill Ranch, Snyder, Texas

     I remember as a kid that'd I'd use the ole "I need to sharpen my pencil" line as an excuse to get out of my desk. Most times, the sharpener was the manual crank kind but sometimes it was the cool electric version. We have one of those cool kind here at the pavilion and I'm using it to sketch a dream.

The Windmill Ranch/Snyder, Texas

     Every time I mow, I think about what do with an area of the ranch's "People Place" that has all the buried infrastructure but the above ground stuff is not useable and needs to be demolished.

Drawing A Dream/Snyder, Texas

     My dream is create a more familiar looking lodge for everything from AirBnB to family reunions and etc. My plan is four bedrooms each with its own full bath, TVs, sitting areas, king beds and large porches at both the front and back doors. The center of the ranch/barn/farm looking lodge would be a communal area complete with a communal kitchen for guests. We saw one in Taos and it worked great. The central area would also include a dining area, laundry for guests, storage, bathrooms and check-in area. The icing on the cake would be another giant porch stretching from side to side. Out front would be a medium sized pool with a wide apron for lounging in the sun. Out back would be three, 50-to-100 yard golf holes with three tee boxes per hole to equal a nine hole tract. There's nothing like a good dream.

Best Invention #2

     The rub is, I'm a rotten drawer. So thank goodness for a good pencil eraser. This picture is my third or fourth eraser and I haven't gotten past drawing up the guestroom bathrooms. I did buy a ruler the other day. So at least now, my lines are a lot straighter.

FANtastic/Scurry Co, Texas

     I hope you're staying cool. This heat wave is considered dangerously hot. We're doing everything we can to help our air conditioning. As of this weekend, we have no less than five floor fans plus a ceiling fan and our AC on full blast 24/7. The booger is, all those fans don't come assembled. Suffice it to say, the first effort to put together all the parts didn't go so well. But I was able to assemble the last two fans in less than three minutes each. Not brain surgery, but close enough.

     Gracie Update: She loves her new food. It's Kibbles and Bits. It must be akin to great brownie because she gobbles it up. We're figuring it's probably not the healthiest. She hates that stuff.
     Diet Update: I had an Egg McMuffin. It wasn't as good as I remembered but still better than yogurt.

     The Word of the Day is: ABROGATE meaning Repeal or do away with (a law, right or formal agreement.) In a sentence: "A proposal to abrogate temporarily the right to strike."

Bill Robertson (7/13/20,) My favorite candy bar is a Mr. Goodbar or Payday or Baby Ruth or Snickers.
   
   

Gracie and Me: Covid-19 #75

     "Tinkerbell" lives in a Snyder park and if you think today's hot--You don't remember July 12, 1998.

Lunch in the Park/Snyder, Texas

     We parked under our normal tree this week for our ump-teenth Covid-19 lunch in Snyder's Towle Park (pronounced Toll.) About the time I finished my JR. Hungr-buster with everything on it, a little girl got of her parent's car with her phone camera at the ready.

Fairy & Gnome Homes/Towle Park, Snyder Texas

     She walked around this big oak tree and took a picture of something that liked look like a big knot at the tree's base. Then, she got back into the car and the two drove off to where ever they were going. And that's about the time T looked up from her lonely DQ Taco and said....
     Teresa: "There are fairies and gnomes in the park."
     Me: "What?"
     Teresa: "Fairies and gnomes. You know the lady who ran for sheriff against Troy?"
     Me: "Yes."
     Teresa: "Well, the weekend paper said that she was going to put Fairy & Gnome Doors on trees in the park."
     Me: "Oh. Good to know. I'm gonna get a pic."

Towle Park/Snyder, Texas

     Sure enough! Open a knotty looking door on trees scattered around the park and you'll find fairies and gnomes. It's all part of a fun contest created by Jeanette Pritchard. She told The Snyder News (https://www.thesnydernews.com/): Parents are encouraged to take photos of their children with each door and to post it to Facebook and tag her. The first child to find all the fairies and gnomes and post photos will be featured with a door of their own in the next hunt. She also said that children could submit names for the fairies and gnomes. The fairies and gnomes move to another park at a future date.

Hotter than ?????/Snyder, Texas

     Next, you don't have to be a brain surgeon to know and feel that we're in the oven for the next several days. Forecasters have us a triple digits as high as 107-degrees through this week. But if you think that's hot, look at this!

Snyder's July Heat History

     It got as hot as 112-degrees in 1989 and 109-degrees in 1998 for the Snyder-Midland area. That was 31 and 22-years ago respectively. So suffice it say, this isn't our first rodeo but it's still going to be dangerously hot. Take care everyone. Hydrate!

     Word of the Day: VERACITY (noun,) Conformity to facts; accuracy, "Officials expressed doubts concerning the veracity of the story."

     Diet Update: 30-pounds lost and holding.
     Gracie Update: It's knocking on 100-degrees. She's already wearing a fur coat and it's black. She's hot.

Bill Robertson (7/9/20,) Tinkerbell would be proud to call Towle Park home.

Gracie and Me: Covid-19 #74

     If only "Smell-i-Vision existed, I'd be more of a glutton for punishment than I am now. For the previous 73-blogs, I've chronicled our diet successes and failures. I've written about the tasteless, chalky 'Fuelings' that actually work. I've shared story after story about what I crave and can't have. So why in the world would I binge watch The Cooking Channel (TCC) this past July fourth weekend. I told you... I'M A GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT.

The Cooking Channel

     We got hooked on TCC's "Carnival Eats" series. It was 30-minutes after 30-minutes after 30-minutes of episodes not only showing the best looking Junk Food I've ever seen, but also sharing the recipes for these sodium, sugar laced cardio time bombs.

Noah Cappe/Carnival Eats

    The shows host is Noah Cappe, pronounced CAP, like the hat. He's quirky and funny and makes the show(s) fun to watch. We watched him criss cross the country highlighting carnival food from Maine to SoCal. I couldn't take it anymore. So, I started taking pictures when he began covering Southern Treats.

Carnival Eats

     This first sandwich is a Crawfish Cake Poboy with Cheese Sauce. Other fun food included: Deep Fried Brownie & Peanut Butter on a Stick, Hand Pulled Spicy Taffy, A 24-inch Philly Cheesesteak and even a Fried Dill Pickle Stuffed with a Foot Long Hot Dog.

Carnival Eats

     And just when I'd think, "Okay they're going to commercial... I'll get a break from this gastro torture... NOOOOO." That's when the TCC shows commercials for the fantastic foods banned from my plate and palate like Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.

Mac n' Cheese/Add A-1

     I'm somewhat of a Kraft Mac n' Cheese expert. Here are some tidbits that I've learned over the years: #1) If you don't have milk, just add extra butter. #2) Substitute canned PET/CARNATION milk for regular milk & still a ton of butter. Soooo creamy. #3) Add a 'splash' of A-1 on top. It's like a rock concert in your mouth!
     The self inflicted torture didn't stop once we changed the channel. The next morning we were at Walmart to buy a fan. So how we ended up checking out the frozen foods section is a mystery, but we did and look what they have.

Boudin Balls/Walmart, Aisle 2

     Zapps Crawfish Boudin Balls and White Castle Burgers. I came within seconds of opening that freezer door and tossing both those tasty treats in our cart, but believe it or not I rushed to pay for our new, 16" oscillating, pedestal fan as quickly as I could.

White Castle Sliders/Walmart, Aisle 2

     Diet Update: After all that, we made a big Charcuterie board and had late lunches off that both Saturday and Sunday.
     Gracie Update: She's scared of turtles.

     Word of the Day (courtesy: Sarah Fagin Cutrona:) GARDYLOO: A cry formerly used in Scotland to warn pedestrians when slops were about to be thrown from an upstairs window.

Bill Robertson (7/6/20,) Try Worcestershire if you don't have any A-1.

Gracie and Me: Covid-19 #73

     Our local Undertaker sent me a letter, T and I stopped to 'Smell the Roses' today and we had a darn good lunch too.

Lunch at the Courthouse/Snyder, Texas

     Here's the packet, albeit sideways, that came in the mail. It's addressed to current resident, but I know they're really talking to me.

My Final Farewell Packet

     Inside, it's a colorful tri-fold 'Plan Your Funeral Now' type of card. The left side reads: "Shouldn't your final farewell reflect the amazing life you've lived." The middle fold adds: "To plan a final farewell that will make them laugh, make them cry, but most of all, help them remember you for who you are...." Then on the right fold, I can sign up for a "Complete Planning Kit."

My Options

     Here are my thoughts: #1) I get AARP mail. I really hope that's the only reason I got this most recent mailing. #2) Since when is a funeral called "Your Final Farewell?" I won't be there. How am I going to say farewell? #3) Who uses the word Farewell? There's Farwell, Texas. 4) "Help them remember me????" If they're at my funeral isn't it logical that they remember me? I doubt many people go into a funeral wondering who died. #5) and as for "Complete Planning Kit," just say it... "We're all going to die. Get ready."
     On the bright side, we know our local undertakers. They're good eggs and come to think about it, they have a good point.😀
    

The Historic White Buffalo of Scurry County

     To say we stopped to smell the roses today is more metaphor than anything else. We actually parked in the shade at the Scurry County Courthouse to get some lunch and realized that our courthouse lawn is really quite nice.

Courthouse North Lawn/Snyder, Texas

     The marbled, square courthouse has been a local 'bone of contention' for years, but I gotta say the north and south lawns are really nice. And when you add the history of the square to the big picture, it's almost possible to imagine the more bustling and wild, west times of so many years ago.

Snyder History

     This blog format is too short to go into detail, but suffice it to say, if you're a history buff, proud of your town or just wanna smell the roses and eat at a good food truck, then head on down to the Historic Scurry County Square.

     Diet Update: I think we're having lettuce tonight for supper after a very satisfying lunch at Sabores
     Gracie Update: She literally won't look at us when we open the door for her to go outside. It's like she's saying, "Are y'all nuts? It's too hot."

     The Word of the Day: LANGUOR, Definition: The state or feeling, often pleasant, of tiredness or inertia. Sentence: "He remembered the LANGUOR and warm happiness of those golden afternoons." (creepy 😟)

Bill Robertson (7/1/20,) The Complete Tribute Planning Kit is free and for funerals or cremations. That's something.